I don't want to go to school

Childhood memory. Suddenly the word popped into my head. I would imagine everyone's childhood memory would be all sugar and spice with a colourful rainbow and a cute pony waiting at the end of it.

Mine? It's hard to say. Bittersweet moments i guess. I think i'm not ready to take out that dusty box that i put at the back of my head all locked up in a dungeon. I'm sorry but i'm not ready. However i have a story that i would like to share.

When i was small, i was thin and dark. I think i was ugly. I was darker than my cousins who are mostly chinese but my eyes are definitely bigger. (Read: Not sepet) My skin was dark because i will go to the island to do some swimming and picnic every weekend. It was brown in colour because i got sun burned. So, when i went back to school, people will look at me in a weird way because i have my err... bikini lines in my skin like some tattoo. Crap betul. I seldom talk because i'm shy. I don't even know how to start a conversation. I was well...... anti-social and awkward.

One fine day, my mum gave me RM5 for me to buy some food. I was happy because RM5 during that time is like RM50 to me. But somehow it got lost in my classroom during recess time. I went to search for it and found it under someone's table. Then, a boy (i forgot his name, let's call him Ah Beng) picked it up. I can see it through his face that he's quite shock that he found some money. The 'angel' side of me thinks: "Oh, it's his money. But maybe i should ask him first." I asked him whether that is his money when i suddenly saw that the money is crippled just like mine. I remember that my money also got some dirt just like the money that he was holding. (Now i realized that my mum gave a me buruk punya money).

Then i say:" Hey, that's mine." He was swaying his head profusely and mumbled "no, no". See, he never said it was his! Liar,liar! Pants on fire. I said:" But the money is crippled and got some dirt on it, my money also like that one!". (note: The whole conversation is actually in Mandarin, thank you). Probably i was shouting at that time and perhaps thumping my feet (i think not) on the ground because the students started to surround us. For fear of being called a thief, do you what Ah Beng did? He cried. People thought that i was bullying him. Hmmf! He was much taller and bigger than i am ok. Then, some kepoh student go and call the teacher.

The teacher asked us what had happened. He look at me with fears in his eyes. Suddenly i felt pity for him. So, i just kept quiet. I didn't say that he took my money. The teacher assumed i bullied him (Bad teacher!) and ask us to go back to our seat. When the class started, people were already gossiping around and look at me with a disgusting look. Our discipline teacher (I just named him Phua Chu Kang) came to my class and shouted that the girl who fight please come out. It was meant for me. He said: " Come with me to my office!" The other class also started to kepoh and whispering around the class. Great i'm now officially popular. I tried to put a brave face but i was actually shaken inside. I said to myself that there is nothing to worry about because i am not guilty.

At his office, Teacher Phua asked me why we fighted. I didn't answer him. I was actually thinking why all the teachers are unfair. Why didn't they call Ah Beng too? They blame me just by looking at the whole situation without even investigating. He rotan me but i still kept quiet. He looked at me as if i'm made of vomit. I didn't even cry which is an achievement for me because i am such a cry baby. He said:" Why like this, girl also want to fight. Bikin malu betul!" (Note: Yep, he spoke in Mandarin but i just want to make it more dramatic). So i was sent back to the class.

This is the beginning (and downfall) of my social status in the class from a weirdo to a freak.

The next day, i pretend nothing happened. (I am so thick skin) We are still in talking terms but he never apologized to me. I never tell my mum what had happened although teacher Phua did threaten to tell my family. And we live happily ever after.

The end.

Oh i got the money back. Don't ask me how. My precious RM5.

My 'beloved' school. Bloody tut*.

* It had been censored due to the chance that my scary teachers and lousy school friends might/will (who knows!) stumble upon my blog.

The arrow pointed the exact office of Teacher Phua.

Hidup untuk makan atau makan untuk hidup?

During the Ramadan season,

I am hungry.................

p/s: I changed the header into a new picture from Honey and Clover. The caption should be Face the sky....... and then go to sleep.

Update!!

The girl from the above picture is actually Scarlett Johansson!



End of update.

I join the Miss World pageant!

Without even realizing it, today is Sept 11. The day. I think 2 days ago i watch a National Geographic documentary- Air Crash Investigation. They were showing what actually happened on that day itself. It's a sad story. The passenger, the cabin crews, the office worker and worst of all, the firemen. But I know why it happened.

Don't get me wrong. I never approved their action but i can argue why they did what they did. Being a major in political science, i had read and observe that it's not only about religion but it is also related to politics and economic.

I had watched Michael Moore's movie blaming Bush for that incident when he accused Bush did nothing when the day happened. He just sat there at the kindergarten with a shock face. Not many people approved the movie. But i know his point- when your government decides a wrong choice, your people will suffer.

I had observed that the Americans are very ignorant of what is happening in the outside world. They accused the Punjabi being a Muslim because they have beard too. Everyone with the name 'Bin' will be accused as terrorist. When the media had called him Bin Laden, it just proves how much they didn't know about their enemy. Do you know the definition of bin? 'The son of'. Binti is 'the daughter of' . So basically, all Muslim name had bin and binti. Mind you, not all muslim are happy with the 911 incident.

Genocide, ethnic cleansing, Rwanda, Sudan, WMD, North Korea etc. The world had turned into a bitter place. I can only hope for world peace- just like Miss World.

No one tag me

For obvious reason. So, i tag myself. So clever......


I got this from Paris Beaverbank blog (Hi, i'm a silent reader) and it just shows how much i loves books.


Do you remember how you developed a love for reading?
I remember when i was small, my mum would read to me. My father would read Reader's Digest right before he sleeps. So, as a daughter i would follow whatever they do. The next thing i know my cousin starts calling me 'bookworm'. Having to wear a spec makes things worse.

What are some books you read as a child?

Enid Blyton's books! I still have it at my home. Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley High, R. L. Stine etc. Can't remember some of the title and author.

What is your favourite genre?
Anything that is not sc-fiction. (sorry not a big fan of star wars). Fantasy, romance, historical romance ,thriller. You name it, i am willing to read.

Do you have a favourite novel?

A tough question. I like Harry Potter. Pride and Prejudice.

Where do you usually read?

At home, on the bed. With a hot cocoa at my side table. "dreamy face"

When do you usually read?

At night. During the rain.

Do you usually have more than one book you are reading at a time?

Yes.

Do you read nonfiction in a different way or place than you read fiction?

Yes, i usually read non fiction in front of the tv.

Do you buy most of the books you read, or borrow them, or check them out of the library?

I usually buy it. But now that my office had library, i prefer to borrow it. Save money mah.

Do you keep most of the books you buy? If not, what do you do with them?

I kept them. I have a mini library at my home. Now my rented house is turning into a mini library too.

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Do you know that when i see books, neatly arranged in my cupboard, a sense of happiness will pass through my veins? Yes, I'm a bookworm, i know.

If you have children, what are some of the favorite books you have shared with them? Were they some of the same ones you read as a child?

Enid Blyton's. Nursery Rhymes.

What are you reading now?

1) To kill a mocking bird- Harper Lee

2) The Devils wear Prada

3) Emma

4) A senator's wife

Do you keep a TBR (to be read) list?

Sometimes. I usually ask my friends' recommendations.

What’s next?

Maybe The Kite Runner or Memoirs of Geisha. The tales of Beedle the Bard!! Yay!

What books would you like to reread?

Pride and Prejudice, the Evening Class, Confessions of a Shopoholic (Only book no 1)

Who are your favourite authors?

Maeve Binchy, JK Rowling

You're jealous because i'm beautiful

I am not beautiful, so why are they jealous of me?

I don't drive an expensive car.


I don't have a vacation home in Miami.


I never say " I'm off to Venice this weekend for a break, ta ta"


I never say "I bought that Gucci bag, nothing much"


So why are they jealous of me?


Can your self-esteem be as low as the bottom of the deep sea?


Nonetheless, i'm quite flattered that your clouded mind would think that i am at par with Ivanka Trump.

I felt so amused that i laughed aloud. Honestly, i'll just take it as a compliment.

My big fat Greek food (Malaysian style)

During this Ramadan season, we only think of 2 words- food and makan (eat). I've been busy looking at some recipes in the Internet to try out. My favourite so far is http://www.rasamalaysia.com/.

Talking about history, i learned to cook when i was 16 years old. My mum will cook it and then i will watch her doing it. After that i will cook it myself. It has been a shock among my friends and colleagues that i know how to cook. They thought when i was the only child in the family then i should be spoiled. Well, i'm not. Ok maybe a little bit.

Being a career women, i don't have the luxury of cooking and baking like the Domestic Goddess. But i'm very picky with my food so i prefer home cooked meal. Nyam nyam. I'm not a good cook but i can come up with some decent dish. Perhaps i can share some of my recipe - simple dish that taste great for those who are chasing the corporate ladder but still love being family-oriented.

On a related note, my family is like some Greek family- loves food, vacation and yes, very very loud. Born in a mix culture, our food had the influence of Indonesian, chinese and Baba Nyonya.

Actually, this post is useless. I'm just hungry. That's all.

Can i be someone else for a day?

I'm not afraid of anything

I just need to know that i can breath

I don't need much of anything

but suddenly

I am small and the world is big

All around me is fast moving

surrounded by so many things

suddenly suddenly

How does it feel to be different from me?

Are we the same?

I am young and i am free

but i get tired and i get weak

I get lost and i can't sleep

but suddenly

How does it feel to be different from me?

Are we the same?

How does it feel?