Face the sky: I don't want to go to school

Childhood memory. Suddenly the word popped into my head. I would imagine everyone's childhood memory would be all sugar and spice with a colourful rainbow and a cute pony waiting at the end of it.

Mine? It's hard to say. Bittersweet moments i guess. I think i'm not ready to take out that dusty box that i put at the back of my head all locked up in a dungeon. I'm sorry but i'm not ready. However i have a story that i would like to share.

When i was small, i was thin and dark. I think i was ugly. I was darker than my cousins who are mostly chinese but my eyes are definitely bigger. (Read: Not sepet) My skin was dark because i will go to the island to do some swimming and picnic every weekend. It was brown in colour because i got sun burned. So, when i went back to school, people will look at me in a weird way because i have my err... bikini lines in my skin like some tattoo. Crap betul. I seldom talk because i'm shy. I don't even know how to start a conversation. I was well...... anti-social and awkward.

One fine day, my mum gave me RM5 for me to buy some food. I was happy because RM5 during that time is like RM50 to me. But somehow it got lost in my classroom during recess time. I went to search for it and found it under someone's table. Then, a boy (i forgot his name, let's call him Ah Beng) picked it up. I can see it through his face that he's quite shock that he found some money. The 'angel' side of me thinks: "Oh, it's his money. But maybe i should ask him first." I asked him whether that is his money when i suddenly saw that the money is crippled just like mine. I remember that my money also got some dirt just like the money that he was holding. (Now i realized that my mum gave a me buruk punya money).

Then i say:" Hey, that's mine." He was swaying his head profusely and mumbled "no, no". See, he never said it was his! Liar,liar! Pants on fire. I said:" But the money is crippled and got some dirt on it, my money also like that one!". (note: The whole conversation is actually in Mandarin, thank you). Probably i was shouting at that time and perhaps thumping my feet (i think not) on the ground because the students started to surround us. For fear of being called a thief, do you what Ah Beng did? He cried. People thought that i was bullying him. Hmmf! He was much taller and bigger than i am ok. Then, some kepoh student go and call the teacher.

The teacher asked us what had happened. He look at me with fears in his eyes. Suddenly i felt pity for him. So, i just kept quiet. I didn't say that he took my money. The teacher assumed i bullied him (Bad teacher!) and ask us to go back to our seat. When the class started, people were already gossiping around and look at me with a disgusting look. Our discipline teacher (I just named him Phua Chu Kang) came to my class and shouted that the girl who fight please come out. It was meant for me. He said: " Come with me to my office!" The other class also started to kepoh and whispering around the class. Great i'm now officially popular. I tried to put a brave face but i was actually shaken inside. I said to myself that there is nothing to worry about because i am not guilty.

At his office, Teacher Phua asked me why we fighted. I didn't answer him. I was actually thinking why all the teachers are unfair. Why didn't they call Ah Beng too? They blame me just by looking at the whole situation without even investigating.

He rotan me but i still kept quiet. He looked at me as if i'm made of vomit.

I didn't even cry which is an achievement for me because i am such a cry baby. He said:" Why like this, girl also want to fight. Bikin malu betul!" (Note: Yep, he spoke in Mandarin but i just want to make it more dramatic). So i was sent back to the class.

This is the beginning (and downfall) of my social status in the class from a weirdo to a freak.

The next day, i pretend nothing happened. (I am so thick skin) We are still in talking terms but he never apologized to me. I never tell my mum what had happened although teacher Phua did threaten to tell my family. And we live happily ever after.

The end.

Oh i got the money back. Don't ask me how. My precious RM5.